Thoughts Have Hands

No code exists

No plan outlined 

beyond child’s play in the sand

No fortune or fate easily discerned 

We plow fields with no guarantees,

Make art with little guidance beyond stories we were taught, 

Or willingly face.

The given given,

Not by willing hearts,

But carved by idol worshippers who 

Defend long held prejudice,

protect cherished memory of

Power and privilege.

They peddle novel thrills to the crowd

Distract from learning better.

So much past remains hidden from view,

buried under useless debris,

stored in attics rarely visited.

Only the bravest dig deep,

Inspect pain and loss, 

discover memories of abuse

question distortions

dropped in dirty alleys, 

briefly inhabited for sheer entertainment,

between main streets we walk in daylight.

Our days are assemblages of duties, play and expectations 

met and regularly unmet.

Imperfect in the most human of ways.

Our nights intended for rest and recovery become nests of turmoil, 

Calling for a stiff drink poured to relieve tension, 

Take the edge off fantasies, assuage sleep;

A game, a movie watched in reverie

with dangling carrots just out of reach,

Showing us the gold,

Instilling a will to work,

Longing for perfection, never complete,

For dreams of comfort and consolation 

Believing impossibilities, 

Finally to achieve desires we would die for.

Think, when do we finally get all we actually deserve, as if we knew the meaning of deserve.

Wait impatiently, feet tapping out make believe rhymes as if we had learned the secret code.

Nothing is owed, nothing is earned,

All we can do 

Is love imperfectly

Smile knowingly 

Act accordingly.

THH

With thanks to Becca Stevens

8/30/24

To the one who is and always will be

Direct my resolve to act honestly.

Reduce my hunger for praise, 

Keep me from playing to an audience,

And help me focus squarely on scripts that matter. 

With others – be myself 

By myself – be loving and forgiving 

Weave with the threads of my time 

a story of authenticity,

Full of caring 

To make a life worth remembering. 

Be evening’s stiff drink – a solace for feelings of loss and sadness, 

The long walk – providing balance and contrast to flights of fantasy, 

Sunshine – to warm a frosty heart,

Offer a distant horizon – to renew stale vision, 

The cool mountain stream- to give solitude and comfort ground for being, 

The embracing community – open to hearing questions, and discipline to listen.

Show me the way to be fully human — find joy 

In who I come to be, 

Live in faith as a loyal servant of your reality, 

in solidarity with fraternity,

between the depths of silence and beloved community.

THH

8/29/24

Inspire me this day with creativity 

Teach me new ways to be authentic,

Not just seek praise or Your favor.

Bless me with silence before taking action.

Show me the grace playing between word and deed.

Mindful of the difference between artful doing, and tangled webs of fantasy;

Help me mind my own damn business 

And keep from meddling.

Assist me to walk your way of love.

Give me faith to let go anxiety, hate 

and frustration.

Grant reason and skill to build better community.

Hands to embrace hospitality,

An open heart to exude passion for living,

And grace to wonder at your divine mysteries.

THH

8/15/24

Make me fully present in this sacred moment.

Give me loving eyes to see all persons

As they are and hope to be,

Ears to hear with empathy 

The thoughts and feelings spoken.

Assist me to be honest with myself,

And treat with charity and justice 

Each person I meet.

Grant me courage to greet with humble gratitude the majesty of creation,

A healing hand to promote human flourishing

And make of the world

The garden of love and delight intended.

THH

8/13/24

A day like no other came Sunday.

Though every day, sunrise to sunset,
Bears a fullness : some cold and overcast,

others a dry see-through blue,
The weather blessed today,
Inviting a quiet letting go.

A perfect moment,
raised no thought of an end,
A fullness bordering on weightlessness,
An emptiness missing nothing.

A breeze cooled the skin
And my attention
Untied from the wharf’s cleat of doing,

let slip the rope of intention, to

drift in waters of acceptance.

Anxiety bobbed on the line then gave up,
Anger at unjust loss and self importance

floated down stream.

Worries of how long and what’s next fell

Asleep,

Moments though many, became one presence.

Sunlight warmed the backyard.
Birds took a siesta.
Miles forgot chasing squirrels.
And I dwelled with thoughts of enough,

Unresolved tensions and storms of experience once stirred a sense of foreboding,

The trickster plans to lead me into the deep

And let me sink incomplete.

Emotions rippled across streams of consciousness into a peaceful so what,

The tingle of anticipation lost its thrill and was reduced to peace without and within,

The moment begged frustrations loosen an unfriendly grip,
Stop fishing for more
And in gentle persistence recite a prayer:

It is enough.

The blessing soothed worries
over things done, left undone,
The nebulous and ill considered.

A cleansing breeze buoyed hopes of rebirth.

A time without counting.

Spread through the evening air

Silently enchanting a sad heart.

Worthy of this evening’s need for thanksgiving

A blessing of more than enough.

THH
8/13/24

Revised 9/10/24

A day like no other came Sunday.

Though every day, sunrise to sunset,

Carries a fullness of its own: some cold and overcast, others humid and hot, a mix of too little or too much.

But the weather blessed this day with quiet calm, 

Inviting a letting go.

A breeze cooled the skin

And with close attention

My mind

Untied from the wharf’s cleat of doing,

Drifted in pools of acceptance.

Distant sounds made no impact.

The moments though many felt like one.

A perfect moment, raising no thought of an end, 

A fullness bordering on weightlessness, 

An emptiness where nothing is missing.

Sunlight warmed the backyard.

Birds took a siesta. 

Miles forgot chasing squirrels.

And I sat dwelling on enough, how long, and what comes next.

Emotions rippled streams of consciousness, bobbing anxiety, 

Anger at unjust loss, 

worry about control, and self importance, stirred by storms without and within.

So much unresolved tension 

Uncertain successes and fear of failure,

Leave a foreboding sense 

time will let me sink incomplete.

So much, then to be done. So many concerns.

But the moment begged frustrating 

expectations 

to loosen their grip.

And with gentle persistence recited a prayer 

Called enough.

The blessing soothed worries 

over things done, and not done, 

The nebulous and ill considered.

Cleansing air surfaced hopes of rebirth around me. A gift of time without counting. 

A reverie spread through the evening air

Silently enchanting a sad heart,

Like the scent of baked bread,

Rising quietly, the aroma awakening 

the nose to partial knowing.

Expectations exhaust thinking. 

Worry churns discontent.

Mind chases wind without intervention. 

But Sunday’s unexpected gift 

should not be forgotten in the colorful bows, glitter, and hand wrapped signs of 

human desire.

May I celebrate forgiving my cravings and learn the meaning of enough.

With a peace beyond my understanding,

Worthy of evening’s need for thanksgiving.

THH

8/10/24

When I’m up

I am ready to go

Running like crazy

In the flow.

When I’m down

I can be really be low

Unable to move

Unable to go.

I’m not on medication,

But I may be slightly ADHD

Not a doctor you see.

Only trying to see my way

through the day

Wondering what’s next

to come my way.

The flow is a thrill;

The low makes me feel ill,

But it comes and goes,

So right down to my toes

I hold tight the reins,

And steer my way through rainy days,

Looking for good company

On the many good days

To laugh and play the rest of my days.

THH

8/5/24

Make me fully present in this sacred moment.

Give me loving eyes to see in others

The person they hope to be,

Ears to hear with empathy

The thoughts and feelings spoken.

Assist me to be honest with myself,

And in what I do with every person.

Grant me courage to face this day in humble gratitude for all you have made and meant to be shared abundantly.

THH

8/5/24

There is often unnoticed tension,

Between awakening and invention.

A moment when a window opens in your personal space,

A rare offering of new prospects.

Calling for sitting still,

Instead of running fast,

Breathlessly falling behind,

Fiercely grasping after prizes

Believed to last and last.

A lucky stopping permits attention

To scents and sounds, interests and habits,

Allows for clarification of experience.

Time to imagine options,

And the rare moment to dwell

in this liminal space:

Discover who you are and have been,

Note struggles, joys, and pain,

Think back to before, examine beliefs,

Claim excitement in future possibilities,

Then dive in.

Such moments fly at light speed,

Save when fired by personal desire,

Your hunger expands space into a new shapes.

Leap to meet the challenge, damn adversity,

Act with character and personal authority.

Too many ride ocean waves

Oblivious to direction,

Behave like tourists taking in the view.

Drain life choices of imagination.

Take the plunge,

Be the wave,

Beg time to explore decisions,

Let the in-between resonate,

Then go live your invention.

THH

8/3/24

Some words feel strange,

the way they throw rocks inside my brain.

Fog up windows so I cannot see;

Spread confusion about what is meant,

Add dimensions to thought,

Crack cement walls built for sanity’s sake,

Leave me to meander in unusual directions.

Take a word like nevertheless —

An interesting attraction —

For if never means never

As in well — never,

What’s the-less for?

It seems to lead to a half open backdoor.

Never is:

‘Never will I see you again’

Death to the one you’ve been hanging with,

The message perfectly clear.

‘Never will I forgive’ feels definitely forever,

And ‘never will I forget’ and ‘never will I let you go’

Change directions when you tack on the-less.

Nevertheless adds possibilities and something more.

Nevertheless returns to the beginning,

Makes me think of alternate directions to travel,

When lost, might I be found,

And consider places I stayed too long

Or way too short,

Wonder too, if I’ve ever really known,

Or even asked,

what it is to be honestly invited?

Nevertheless is more than nevermore.

There the never feels like never,

But add the-less and my heart thinks more,

As if I get a second chance.

A turn to belief and a reprieve of my long sentence.

THH

7/28/24