Thoughts Have Hands

The sense of being overwhelmed

dawns on me slowly,

An emotional iceberg submerged 

In the ocean, 

breeches the hull,

floods my thick skull.

A foreign power drowns all resistance,

points icy fingers at hidden weakness, 

Overwhelms what’s left of a fragile peace.

I run for a life boat, find only one, 

            taste salt on my tongue,

wonder how this mountain of ice

cracked 

      open my head.

With fears growing, I struggle on board, 

launch in the dark,

reeling in shame.

Identity drowns under obligations 

anchored by numerous expectations,

the fast, cold current, pulls me under,

washes away remnants of self.

Surprised by emotions I didn’t see coming.

Angered by threats of personal destruction,

Disappointed by empathy held in suspense,

Wrapped in a fantasy of the ultimate fixer, 

I work without tools.

Sadness overwhelms actions long put off.

Hurt petrifies self-defense. 

I dive into places unsafe to inhabit.

I live for comfort, seek easy answers. Now,

trapped in freezing waters I plea for help.

I sit with memories of sailing freely,

Veiled in doubt.

Words don’t answer, seem unreliable.

I dig at scabs covering my heart 

Obtain brief relief from what seeps out.

Bleeding – a temporary distraction,

healing illusory, I 

Sleep without dreaming.

Float in starless seas, 

as images surface prescribing new meaning,

I wake to check signs of continued breathing. 

Overdone

Overdosed on what may come,

Overwhelmed by too many tasks 

and sinking fast.

THH

7/15/25

Revised 7/16/25

Firing neurons 

                Drum up words

                           for my ears,

Blast colorful images

               before my eyes,

Send messages 

from unfathomed spaces,

posted for serious contemplation.

Plentiful potential.

Thoughts unthought 

                    emerge from untraceable sources,

Ignite spontaneous conflagrations and 

disguised recognition.

         Emotional fireworks shock then fade.  

Leave open questions. 

    Circle their wagons around my brain.

What do I want?  What am I doing?

Who am I really? 

‘Know yourself’, the philosopher demanded.

An easy question, difficult to answer.

My daemon speaks riddles,

Imagines narrating long absurd dramas

 for cheap entertainment, 

        as likely destructive as creative.

Indigestible data produce ulcers,

demand I take names, 

                 drown answers,

I’m not this, not that.

Competing desires juggle for position; spurs chameleon-like shopping at global malls 

full of glitz and heavy with suspicion; a dangerous place to seek clarifications or discover essentials.

Emotional wildfires melt icy order.

With so much chaos 

the heart trembles and cautiously deciphers

low risk prospects for continued living.

 The peace sought 

        strangled by rivalrous gangs 

                    hyping misinformation,

a spectacle for people milling the streets,

happy to celebrate another’s defeat.

Shake nervous heads at claims of authenticity, 

laugh at believing in self-understanding,

wave flags in support of stagnant 

traditions for easy consumption.

Refuse to settle for collective praises 

             from well paid judges,

                    lording over unfit decisions.

Identity must wrestle powerful forces 

               to secure a blessing, and

                                Compel a true name. 

Better the never-ending match 

                                   engaged until dawn,

than to carry an identity blurred by tears,

Despoiling the remains of once sacred spaces.

THH

7/19/25

Some wounds strike deep, 

tumble over event horizons

beyond all chance for healing. 

Beating hearts sullied by shame, 

hidden in black holes, void of true light.

Starved for love, 

Abandoned hearts settle for crumbs 

of personal attention,

beg for an instance of recognition. 

Desperate hearts dream mythic dragons

to gorge on feint praise, from disreputable demons.

Dying to matter,

hungry for touch, 

clinging to wishes,

the wounded crossover 

full of envy, 

absent gladness.

All humans travel in gravity’s grace, 

through galaxies of emotion, 

but abandoned hearts, full of protest, 

blinded by fears of continued rejection, 

abandon empathy.

Anxiety unquenched, 

living in a personal wilderness 

with shape shifting fantasies, 

and outlandish lies to believe, 

an unwholesome brew of disordered capacity.

Their suppressed emotions,

banned from expression by armies of reason, 

defend arrogant belief, and lost in grief 

fail to observe the looming horizon.

That whirlwind of confusion and

infernal silence, 

tearing weary bones asunder,

with icy indifference, 

sucked dry of lifeblood’s sweetest marrow.

THH

6/25/25 (revised 6/30)

Darkness obscures sunlight,

as clouds shade doleful eyes, 

cast an impenetrable veil, 

between then and now.

Anguish slithers up my neck,

Wraps my brain’s fiery resistance

In a rawhide grip 

Destroys my peace.

Now sorrow dawns every morning,

as the sun crawls over thickening clouds,

Rains grief

outside my screen door.

Loss arrives uninvited. 

Unpacked its bags,

Grabbed my heart like a new slave owner

Declared itself master.

Says hello with a grizzly grin,

Walks right in,

playing the part of an old friend,

teaches hard lessons in the art of farewell.

Cracks the whip,

Leaves me begging for tenderness.

Finding none,

a lifetime of mourning loss may pass

before I shed my tears and find release.

THH

4/28/25

Revised 7/10/25

Revised 7/16/25

The enemy has no face

But plenty of time to invent many.

Full of techniques to manufacture dreams 

Ready to dazzle with newly branded identities, 

Then sell the difference.

Why buy the marketing?

The power to switch on

The person you are

Originates within.

Sit in stillness 

Look at yourself

Add no spice or seasoning. 

Be a mirror for your deepest feelings,

Mix your personal dust with fresh living water,

Shape for yourself an original face.

THH

7/14/24